In the past three weeks, I’ve been sick twice. These aren’t pansy colds either. These are hardcore, cold-sweat, nausea-inducing colds – and I’m in the midst of the second right now.

I might be delusional, but I’ve gone and scored a soundtrack for the war waging in my body. I think I’ll write a film about it. Here are five songs just as hardcore and nausea-inducing as this terrible, terrible cold:

Slam by Pendulum
Slam has one of the greatest intros ever. My friend has a theory that all drum’n’bass is just hip-hop. Slam makes that theory very plausible by throwing you into one of the most hardcore, gangster hip-hop inspired openings known to man before launching you into the main song. It feels like you’re about to join a tribal war, which makes it the perfect song to lead this Mixx.

Tonight (Pendulum Remix) by Concord Dawn
I’m breaking mix tape taboo here, but for ass-kicking music, Pendulum reigns as king. It starts off all eerie and warped out, and all of a sudden – bam! – you get dropped into an earth-shattering rush of drum’n’bass mastery. It even has a series of beatdrops to accentuate dramatic moments in the scene.

Panasonic Youth by The Dillinger Escape Plan
If there was a theme song for relentless slaughter, this would be it. I don’t even know the lyrics to this song. All I know is, when someone wants loud music, this is what I give them. They could be screaming, “CREAM PUFFS!! TWINKIES!!” – I’d recommend it all the same. I can see the hero losing his girl and going on a rampage.

Gigadelic by teranoid
A straight import from Japan, Gigadelic is the electronic equivalent of Panasonic Youth – it’s like death for your ears, if death were a robot. In typical electronic fashion though, it’s better for marching than frenzied thrashing. I’m thinking it serves as a good song to march to en route to the final battle.

The Anhtkythera Mechanism by BT
There’s always a calm before the storm and The Anhtkythera Mechanism fits the bill. The fact that the name is incomprehensible makes it that much more awesome. It starts out as this gentle soundscape and gradually builds into this epic soundtrack that pays equal dues to its orchestra and glitch roots. The momentum builds as the glitching starts to syncopate, leading us into a marching rhythm again. The glitching stops, and the strings take lead as we move into a gorgeous finale that would find an easy home in any war film. The Anhtkythera Mechanism ends with stutters and gated pads, as if the whole world ended with the fight.

I feel like a geek. I also feel like becoming a script writer. Or maybe I should just score for films. Either way, kudos to the five songs that kill colds, flus, and large rodents. Hopefully they work.